As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
