The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
