I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
