Where are you?
In a non slutty way
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
