i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
