im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
