We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
