you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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