No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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