You work out of a Hotel?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
