but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
