K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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