I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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