Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
