Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
