Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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