there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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