he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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