i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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