So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
