Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize