We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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