ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just found a bag of teeth...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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