Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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