if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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