I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
