Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
