Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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