That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
