we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
