i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
