physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
