New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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