he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
