No more Irish car bombs ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
