help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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