I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
