dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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