I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
