stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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