areolas are like halos for boobs.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
