I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
