If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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