so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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