I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize