careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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