I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize