So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
