I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
