so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
