this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
