so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Alive.
So much puke
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
