If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
