The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
