so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
