consequently i now know what mace tastes like
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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