your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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