ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize