whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
