Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
