We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
