Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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