I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
