He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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