I think I am morally bankrupt
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
