You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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