so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
