they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
