I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
