Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
