i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
