i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
