we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
