I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
